Saw Pirates III.  Better than Pirates II.  Major pacing and editing problems though IMO.

2:03 pm.  Blue mountain.  Old Blue, as I call her.  A mountain in the least.  More a pimple on the skin of mother earth.  Still, as I sit here on my rock -- not but halfway up Old Blue -- I feel a respect for her.  And, at the same time, a sense of possession.  She's mine.  She belongs to me.  And I belong here.

A clang of metal in the distance.  A train's horn sounds.  The roar of traffic in all directions as a plane passes overhead and sirens scream below.  How does it happen all at once?  How can the world be so hard at work?  How can the world be spinning while I sit still on my perch?

My perch.  My rock.  Why do I feel ownership of her when I never bothered to name her?  In all my times here -- and indeed it has been too long since my last trek -- the thought had never crossed my mind.  More sirens.  Too much unrest.  Too many emergencies.  I wonder what it is the time.  A fire?  A car wreck?  Sometimes the world moves too fast.  At that speed of life, accidents are inevitable.  Sometimes I need the pace of a rock -- My rock.  "Nameless here for evermore," I suppose.  Nameless too, her big sister has chosen a resting place just ten yards behind.

Chosen.  Sadly, that's the way I feel sometimes.  Even now.  Like even the rocks had a choice in their lot but I don't.  A dirt bike growls as a helicopter streaks by.  How I wish I could join in.  One of my life's long dreams.  Yet another that seems utterly unattainable right now.  And still, my greatest ambition, the thing I yearn for above all else -- the one single thing that would be more fulfilling and satisfying than all other dreams combined, I imagine -- is out of my grasp.  Is it world peace?  No.  Ending hunger, curing disease?  These are not my greatest dream.  By comparison, the thing I most long for would seem, to most, but a speck next to those lofty accomplishments.

No, my dream has been obtained already -- but not by me.  It has been reached hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of millions of times -- but not by me.  It's a simple thing, really.  The greatest goal of my life is something so simple, so normal, so usual and run-of-the-mill.  Most wouldn't even call it a dream -- just another "thing to do."  But to me, there could be nothing greater.  And yet, as I sit here... up on Old Blue... on my nameless rock... I have no hope of ever obtaining my dream.

2:43 pm.  And even forty minutes of writing.  School buses pass by below now.  One heads toward my neighborhood.  I used to be able to see my house from here.  That was before all the construction.  Grand Terrace certainly has changed in the twenty-four years I've lived here.  Although I think the most change has come in the last two years.  It's funny... I would describe myself in exactly the same way.

It was two years ago, this June fourth, that I found God.  Or maybe He found me.  Right now, I don't really know.  The cool thing is that I know my present state will pass.  I know that just as the schoolbuses are now heading back to the schools to do it all over again tomorrow, so too am I in a cycle of my life.  I know that "tomorrow" things will be brighter.  The next "day" will be dark again and so on.  Such is life, as they say.

They.  People always wonder who "they" are.  If you ever take a minute to open a bible, I think that, many times, you'll find "they" is God.  Maybe you don't know Him.  Maybe you don't want to.  It doesn't change the fact the He knows you.  And because He knows me, I know that He knows what's best for me.  And it's THAT VERY THOUGHT that takes me back to the hope that things WILL get better.  That I WILL obtain my greatest dream.

Feeling that hope, for me, will come and go because feelings are about as consistent as a southern california weatherman.  But all it takes to have the ability to get back on the horse is to know God.

Step one:  Find Him.

So Jennifer's mad at me because I'm not excited about Pirates III.

It's because I don't like Pirates II.

She says I need to watch it again.  "I've seen it" I say.  Thrice is enough, methinks.









ha?

I already wrote this as a comment on Jen's entry entitled ".Con".  So if you've read it there, nothing here is new.

Here's my thought... I'm right and I rule.  Haha, I kid.  Although it could be anything, and there are probably a lot of things that have happened to 'rule out' the purgatory theory... you can't escape the fact that there are a LOT of reasons to suggest it could be a purgatory type situation.

I didn't know the writers were asked about that, that's cool.  Although their answer is pretty stupid because it would still have just as much emotional impact since the characters 'dying' on the island means they're either going to heaven or hell for ETERNITY.  Plus the fact that by the time the show ends, and we figure out what exactly the deal is, none of that would even matter anyway -- Boone died long ago, Shannon died long ago... viewers have already felt the emotional loss.  They're not going to go 'back in time' with their emotions and not feel them. 

Not only that, but it is actually MORE suspicious (to me) that the writers answered the question that way.  Think about it, if it truly wasn't the purgatory thing, then they most certainly would have just said something like "we don't have any comment on that."  That way people would think it WAS the purgatory thing, and when the show ended everyone would be BLOWN away by the 'twist' in having it NOT be purgatory.  But since they DID have a 'perfect' answer for that question, it all seems very curious (to me).  I mean think about logic and the way things like this have ALWAYS been in the past.  Whenever someone is accused of something, they get defensive and deny it.  And in cases where they knew a certain question would come up, they ALWAYS have a cover story.  Clinton, anyone?  I'm just saying.

So it seems the writers should have thought a bit more before answering that way.  I could be WAY off, but my point still stands (in my opinion) that their answer wasn't exactly the smartest one.  Sounds like there may be a PR job open in their nest.  Maybe I should apply.

Sumtymz Jennifer kawls mee weeurd.  I downt ghet iht.